Wandering Lights

I saw this book called ‘Life after Ambition‘ by Amil Niazi at Powell’s the other day. I haven’t read it yet, but the title alone resonated with me. It sounds like the life I have now, a post-ambition life.

I left tech in October 2022. I thought I would take a brief break, a sabbatical. And then back to the daily grind, right? I went to school for far too long to really quit. To use my engineering Ph.D. for only 11 years seemed like a poor return on investment. Okay, those years burnt me out and gave me cancer. But I was certain I would recover, come back to my senses, and go back. Because that’s what ambitious Asian kids were supposed to do. I WAS one.

Well, I never went back. A lifetime has passed by tech industry standards. Here’s what I traded in, along with the shiny job title and a stupid amount of stock. Proving the value of my existence daily. Explaining why humans matter more than the accuracy of a prediction model. Daily dose of microaggressions. And the morning ritual of putting on a thick armor of plastic smile, sarcastic hitback, and a veneer of confidence.

I now live a sheltered life. I simply exist. And that’s good enough for now.