Wandering Lights

Ricoh GR IV

I’m such a homebody, but on Wednesdays, I get out to get lost in words and smell the books.

Ricoh GR IV

Yesterday was my 5th Write Around Portland workshop session at Powell’s. A few of us were missing, so it was a small group. After we wrapped our 2-hour session, someone asked how everyone found out about this workshop.

“Instagram ad got me.”

“What? Me, too!”

Turned out, all of us, including the facilitator, got connected to Write Around PDX after seeing something on Instagram. Pretty incredible (and telling) given how wide our (assumed) age range is, 20s to 60s. All the cool kids use something else, but everyone at least has an account.

I love my weekly pilgrimage to Powell’s.

Ricoh GR IV, cinema green

I recently discovered I can do a multiple exposure shot on my Ricoh GR4. Experimenting with stacking different patterns, directionalities, and textures has been fun.

Ricoh GR4

#ricohgr

I keep thinking about the brochure my friend JY brought back from her summer in Santa Barbara when we were in the 8th grade. There was a horse taking carrots from a girl’s hand, red, yellow, and blue water slides on giant lawns, a boy with sun-bleached hair, translucent blue eyes, and a huge smile catching a football in the field, and a big group of kids and their chaperones posing in front of a towering Ferris wheel under the orange and purple sky.

Every single image was drenched in the golden sun, dripping with vivid colors. I traced the pictures with my fingertip. My whole body ached, craving a crayon-colored summer in a place far away from home. I held the brochure on my chest as if it were my golden ticket to the wonderful new world. Only two thousand dollars for the whole summer, she said…only two thousand dollars. That was a ticket we could not afford. I carefully folded the brochure and slipped it into the plastic sheath of my scrapbook.

(Photo taken on Lost Coast Trail, CA)

Feb 2026

Ricoh GR IV, Cinema G

I saw this book called ‘Life after Ambition‘ by Amil Niazi at Powell’s the other day. I haven’t read it yet, but the title alone resonated with me. It sounds like the life I have now, a post-ambition life.

I left tech in October 2022. I thought I would take a brief break, a sabbatical. And then back to the daily grind, right? I went to school for far too long to really quit. To use my engineering Ph.D. for only 11 years seemed like a poor return on investment. Okay, those years burnt me out and gave me cancer. But I was certain I would recover, come back to my senses, and go back. Because that’s what ambitious Asian kids were supposed to do. I WAS one.

Well, I never went back. A lifetime has passed by tech industry standards. Here’s what I traded in, along with the shiny job title and a stupid amount of stock. Proving the value of my existence daily. Explaining why humans matter more than the accuracy of a prediction model. Daily dose of microaggressions. And the morning ritual of putting on a thick armor of plastic smile, sarcastic hitback, and a veneer of confidence.

I now live a sheltered life. I simply exist. And that’s good enough for now.

Summer 2025.

I never get tired of seeing the light filtering through the leaves. I learned there’s a word for this in Japanese, 木漏れ日 (ko-mo-re-bi).

iPhone 14 Pro.

Yesterday, I went to a writing workshop for the first time. There were 8 people in the group. We had a wide range of writing experiences in the room. I had none while others had published magazine articles. Being given just 2 or 5 minutes to freewrite was scary. Desperately grasping for the right words was nerve-racking. Reading what I scribbled down aloud was terrifying. Getting feedback from the group? Mortifying.

Still, it was interesting. Because I had no time to ponder, the only things I could write about were the topics that had already been gnawing at me. In front of the 7 complete strangers, I wrote about my latest obsessions, dearest memories, biggest fears, and shakiest thoughts. And there’s definitely something real there.

I don’t know where I’m headed. But, I guess I’m finally ready to start writing into the void. More than 140 characters at a time.

Yesterday.

Ricoh GR IV, Cinema Y